SuperJanitor

http://shootthebanker.com/

Shoot the banker is a website where, among one other thing, you shoot a banker. The other thing is calling up the banker and complaining to him about the economic mess he’s gotten us into. But this banker doesn’t take live ammunition to the chest, opting instead for pink paintballs in lieu of 9mm rounds. An herein lies the best part of the whole thing, you control the gun. A live stream from a webcam is broadcast of the target (the banker), while those in line wait their turn for 10 seconds and 2 paintballs. The banker must swerve and dodge the never ending onslaught of angry peasant-folk’s paintballs, all the while dishing out insults to hapless callers that are either in over their head, or underage.

Here’s a perfect example:

I’m sure things like this have been created before somewhere out there on the vast tubes of the internet, but this is fairly creative, given the premise of the project. The only trouble is that irony exists, and the people at shoot the banker can’t afford to keep it running. Turns out the very machine they rage against, in the end, got them too. This is only their third week in operation, and they claim they are $10,000 “in the hole” from the resources devoted to keeping something like this running. So by the banker’s estimates, this will also be their last week in business. So if you’ve got an axe to grind with any of the world’s bankers that swindled you out of your retirement all in one fell swoop, you’ve got just a few days left to take that aggression out on an honest to goodness (sort of) banker.

All in all, it’s a pretty impressive feat for a few hobbyists. Creating both the gun rig, and the program to control the interface from scratch. But sadly, like they say, all good things must come to an end. So kudos to they guys behind this little gem, the internet would be a better place if its inhabitants were as creative as you guys.

They’ve even got their own fan site(s)!

Check it out, the banker is in from 9 – 5 Mountain time (he really does this for eight hours straight), and sometimes the janitors are in afterward, followed by late night with Taran and Brig (the creators of the show).

Well the Spring semester is history, and the beginning of the Summer semester is just over a week away. This will mark one year that I’ve been attending UTD, and in that time I’ve completed three semesters worth of work, with hopefully just three left to go.

Having taken the only class (probably) at UTD focused solely on anime, I know the demographic is anticipating the upcoming event in Dallas known as A-KON. This year happens to be the twentieth time they’ve done this, and are  planning accordingly. I was able to attend last year for the first day, but this year I’ll be around for all three days (for better or worse). Despite it all, there are a few interesting things that I am eager to see.

-The first is to see how many people will be dressed as GIRUGAMESH. The kid, not the band. If I had different color hair, I might be able to pull off AND GAMING. The guy, not the activity.

-The second is to see how the cases of H1N1-Swine-Avian-Human-flu-virus spike immediately following the event. Dallas has a solid 90 cases already, who knows what that nuber will be in a few weeks.

Both of my professors from the aforementioned anime class will be holding a panel on Sunday, along with authors Susan Napier and Helen McCarthy about one of their favorite subjects (and the subject of the class I took), Hayao Miyazaki and his incredibly successful animated films.

Other than those few things, there isn’t a lot going on in my life. I’ve been unemployed since August 24th, 2008, nine months next week with no prospects on the horizon. (thanks every generation up to mine for driving our economy and country into the ground! I’m looking at you baby boomers and your free money!) So while the old people of this nation cut themselves social security checks every month, the young (and not so young) are stuggling to find jobs, and probably keep their heads above water. Comforting to know that we’ll never see any form of “social security”, isn’t it? As revolting as the idea is, I find comfort in one thing: knowing that they’ll be dead long before me.

There has been a lot of talk about recessions lately. But there has also been talk about a new phenomenon aptly titled Recession Proof™. Recession Proof™, as you might be able to guess, means that whatever the subject is, it is immune to the effects of a degrading economy based on imaginary money. In other words, it won’t lose its value, or be less desirable even if the world’s fun bucks become little more than colored paper.

Usually Recession Proof™ is used in the context of some sort of tangible item, or concrete idea. Like how to Recession Proof™ your food or cooking habits, finding a Recession Proof™ job, or even Recession Proof™ makeup tips. Anything that can be sold to the public can just as easily be branded as Recession Proof™, and who wouldn’t want to be assured potentially Recession Proof™ products?

But these all of these ideas are simply treating the symptoms of the problem. I have found the true solution to the current economic state. Why try to Recession Proof™ everything except the one thing that could really make a difference? This is why I propose we print Recession Proof™ money. If money itself can’t lose its value, then all our problems would be solved overnight! Take note government(s) of the globe, if you were dry on ideas on how to make your subjects follow your new plan for their lives, creating an absolute Recession Proof™ type of fun bucks is a sure fire way to get them to buy into it.

By now the word is one degree separate from being a cliche. Yet the politicians that plan our future would still have us believe that they do anything different from their predecessors, in a word change things. Of course we know better, we know that is just a sham, a façade put up by those in power. Sure, we’ll change all sorts of things, trust us! (just make sure to elect us, then turn a blind eye to anything and everything we do)

What’s remarkable isn’t the promise, and subsequent letdown, of this so called change. It’s the speed at which the promise turns into letdown, in this case, just about over a week.

Last year we experienced what experts and laymen alike call an economic meltdown, or economic crisis, if you will. Suddenly our money became much more worthless than it already was. Or maybe it was just that people were realizing that their money was worthless, because certainly worthless money can’t get any more worthless, if it is already worth nothing. But regardless of the reason, the old greenback no longer commanded the respect it once did in days gone by. So what to do about our failing economy? This became the question of the hour, day, month, year… present. The top minds in the country hopped to and began to work on a solution. What became obvious very early on was that changing our spending habits as a country was not going to work. Canceling wars was not going to work. Discontinuing to borrow trillions of money units from other countries, was not going to work. Clearly there was one thing, and one thing only to do to save us from certain economic ruin. Spend more money.

Then, once the money is promised in hundreds of pages of legislation, print the money out of thin air, and divide amongst ourthemselves. As more and more companies are befallen by recent economic events, some truly deserve a helping hand, and some deserve to go bankrupt. Spending beyond your means, relying solely on credit to pay for things for you is no way to run a business, and those that conducted themselves in such a way as to be in trouble now, most likely should go by the way side. But the politicians that manipulate our currency unfortunately don’t see it like that. They have to pander to the big corporations before they pander to the citizens, so you end up with trillion dollar “bailout” bills.

2008 saw the Bush Bailout. 2009 brings the Obama Bailout. The differences between the two are so astounding, I for one am glad we elected a guy who knows exactly how to act like Bush! How else could we get a repeat of 2008 without actually letting Bush declare martial law and installing himself as President-for-life. Well this is just as good I suppose, more of the same. Guess the two parties aren’t that different after all. In the span of just a few months we have either party doing exacty what they other party did, even though they despised it at the time!

It’s not surprising though. We supplied Obama with enough “change” during his campaign to last him a good long while. But it leaves me asking, “Hey buddy, can you spare some change?” Most of us haven’t done anything wrong. Why doesn’t the government try rewarding these kinds of citizens with some money, instead of the ones with jets to finance.

A lot has happened since my last post. Although I’m sure things, interesting things, have happened outside the United States, I refer specifically to what has transpired within the confines of these United States very recently. Namely the shoveling out of an old administration and the installation of a new one in our federal government, since you know, we only care about that particular government. I’m quite certain that the traditional and non-traditional media have the situation covered, I’m glad it’s not my job anyway. But for all the extreme reporting going on around the clock about our new first family, there is one thing that sticks out in my mind that no one wants to talk about, dare I say, is scared to talk about. Well you’ll read it here first folks, I’ll ask the hard hitting questions that you want to know the answers to. I’ll get to the bottom of things,  just like one of those paid journalist people. This pressing issue is neckties.

Why no one talks about it is a mystery to me. Seems to me if we can have lurid arguments about whether or not a coat must be worn in the Oval Office, it almost goes without saying that we should also debate what color ties our political leaders wear. I recently sat down with newly appointed Special Envoy for Arab-Israeli Affairs George J. Mitchell to see what he had to say about the current state of neck ware on Capitol Hill. Here is what he had to say:

SuperJanitor: Do you think the neck ware we see in Washington will in turn reflect the changing climate now that George Bush has left office and Barack Obama has taken his place?

George Mitchell: Well I certainly feel that President Obama has the audacity that is necessary to take on the challenges he will face as president, and that he will act swiftly to do what needs to be done. He wont beat around the Bush, so to speak. *laughs*

SJ: Interesting generic rhetoric. But what about the neckties specifically? In your expert opinion where do you see the future of men’s dress accessories in politics going?

GM: The skies the limit, really. I mean look how far we’ve come. If we can elect President Obama, and simply considering the implications of that alone, just think of where we can take this new administration in the coming years.

It was clear, although somewhat unfortunately, that Mr. Mitchell only spoke one language, and it wasn’t fashion. My search for answers must continue however, but first a look at where the all controversy started.

Campaigns are a brutal sport to be sure, but there’s always something going on beneath the surface, something more than what you plainly see. Subtle messages conveyed by any of the players in the game are present at any given function. Let’s take a look at the two biggest players in this past election cycle.

First we have senator John McCain, who in his red tie, gives America a thumbs up.

The connotation is obvious, for red is the color of the Republican party, the party he represented in 2008 as their choice for president, and continues to represent in the senate. During any political campaign it is crucial to leave the impression that you are wholly committed to the values you represent, and what better way to show your commitment than by the color of your tie? Surely there is no better sign.

In contrast we have the winner of that game, President Barack Hussein Obama in his shiny, clearly democratic, blue tie.

Waggling his index finger at America at the Democratic National Convention, he stands as a representative of just that, democrats, though not necessarily democracy. Once again we see the tie as being the symbol of a particular parties values, and one does not choose, or wear, the color lightly. Indeed to wear the color blue or red around your neck is to draw lines, make friends and enemies, and endorse a set of values all with one cut of fabric.

It is beyond a shadow of a doubt that the tie is the definitive symbol of American politics, and the offices we hold in such high regard. Without the tie telling us what the men stand for, I fear many of us would have little idea what is actually going on. It is the glue that holds our government together, the well, tie that binds.

To get a different angle on the situation, I talked to Representative for Afghanistan-Pakistan Relations Richard C. Holbrooke. Here’s what he had to say about the subject:

SuperJanitor: You’ve been around the block for a while now, what do you think about the stark differences that neckties represent in our government?

Richard Holbrooke: Well I think it’s very important to have these differences in neckties. How else could you tell immediately upon seeing someone you have never heard of before what it is exactly they stand for, and which party they generally represent. It really is a good system we have in place. The American people know that the men they are seeing are either Republican or Democrat in a fraction of a second.

SJ: So this was a planned effect?

RH: Oh of course. Did you really think that we would miss even one chance to subliminally tell the American people anything? It’s sort of like telling [Americans] that their money is worth anything anymore. It’s really just a farce.

SJ: Well that’s quite a claim you’re making, so do you think that ties have anything to do with the current economic crisis then?

RH: I can’t deny a link.

SJ: That’s something, well I’m almost out of time, is there anything you woulod like to add to the whole necktie-economy debacle?

RH: If they would just wear ties in the Middle East, everything would be solved!

Obviously neckties has a much more sinister aim than previously thought. But do I really want to go down that rabbit hole? Could I handle the truth behind the necktie and its colors? What bearing do neckties have on the world’s stage? It seems my questions only led to more questions. The truth must be found out…

I have been putting off writing the post election blog. The tubes are so saturated with politics right now, the dust is still clearing, and I imagine it won’t settle for a while yet. Especially since the peoples’ hero hasn’t really done anything yet. Sure he won the popularity contest, and has thus earned the trust of the people who voted for him. I guess you could say he gained some capital with the people, of which he plans to spend. Sounds familiar, no?  But as January slowly comes around, and we transition form one president to the next, as tradition and law mandate, our new president will never be as popular as he is now. You can please all of the people at one time, but you can’t please all of the people the rest of the time.

Sure he looks good, he’s the antibush. And you would be hard pressed to stack up anyone next to Bush, and have Bush look good. So it’s no surprise that after eight years of one party, people want the other. Pick your poison I suppose. But there is nothing new under the sun, and life mostly goes on.

But without going too far with my opinions just yet, I’d like to cover my experience voting on November 4th 2008, my first experience. Tee hee.

It was, of course, a Tuesday and I had no school that day, so I was free to come and go as I please, neither of which I did a whole lot of consequently. As normal I got up around noon to start the day, and realized I didn’t know where I was supposed to actually go and do the deed. Everyone’s friend in times of trouble, the internet, was there to help me. Literally four clicks of the mouse, and I had found a map of the voting districts for the city of Plano, and with it, where I was suppose to go to vote. Turns out the voting station was in Vines High School, right next door.

I was of course expecting there to be a throng of people mingling and loitering, but to my surprise, I found none of he above. The only thing I saw was a guy sitting outside holding a sign to which I paid no mind. Well, I pulled into the parking lot of the school and proceeded to go inside. I don’t beleive I’ve actually been inside the school, even though I’ve been seeing it for as long as I can remember. The place to vote was right inside, and it was pretty obvious this was the place. Just inside the room there was a charming lady who seemed quite happy to be doing her job of greeting people. She was probably the best part of that day, she was pretty darn good looking.

But oh yeah, voting. I went in, was greeted, and stepped up to the table where a couple of folks were seated. The first lady had herself a roster of all the registed voters in my district (I’m assuming this is what it was), I produced my registration card, and she examined it. Then she flipped her book to the W section and began searching for my name. Eventually finding it, she had me sign next to my name. There was no turning back now. But a real man never backs down from a challenge, and I pressed on. To the next seated person I went, and he had me sign my name in another book. This one looked more like a guestbook. People meerely signed as they came, not by name or in any particular order. He handed me my voter registration card back and sent me to the next guy.

I was shuffled off to a man wearing a lanyard, who after telling me that I had an audience (there were a group of what looked like high schoolers standing by the table, mindlessly not really paying attention) brought me over to one of the voting machines. He asked me if I knew how to use of these things. I confessed that indeed, I had never voted before. He congradualted me, then went through the very simple process of voting on the touch screen pad. After ensuring I knew what I was doing he took his leave, and I was all alone, left to do the deed.

Looking the screen over, I noticed I had no idea who the people were after the first three names. No matter, I voted anyway. One, two, three pages of candidates to mull over. Then there are the ones that don’t require any thought whatsoever. Like the elected positions that had one person running for it. Yeah those were the easiest ones to make up my mind on. Sort of defeats the purpose of voting for that particular office though. But in the end, I was presented with a list of my choices, and one last chance to change my votes before I submitted it, where it goes nobody knows. No paper trail, no problem!

I handed the card you need to activate the machine back to the lanyard guy, and that was that. I had, as they say, voted. I had, as they say, exercised my rights as a citizen that day. Someone, as they say, probably got their head blown off in Iraq as I was voting, just so I could vote! Can you believe that!? Neither can I. We haven’t fought a war to protect our freedom since the Revolutionary War (arguably also the Civil War, but that one was a whole different beast). That was the late 1700s, this is 2008. Killing people in a completely different hemisphere than the one we exist in, isn’t securing our freedom. Now, if we had those same soldiers march on the various buildings in Washington, and threaten the lawmakers with death if they didn’t do what the people wanted, THAT would be securing our freedom.

Remember:

If tyranny and oppression come to this land it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

~James Madison

But for the rest of the day, I lingered around the house, in anticipation of the coming night, and what it might bring. The results were not unexpected, at least not by me. I did something I haven’t done in a while, I actually watched the TV. It’s a lot easier to get refreshed information on a TV than it is on a computer, since I don’t have to do anything to the TV to get the latest. So as the hours went by, I watched the talking heads talk, and the results trickle in. If you noticed they didn’t count your vote, or mine, or anyone who isn’t on the electoral college. Oops. Guess it doesn’t really matter if we went out and voted after all. Oh well, our messiah won after all, promising things he can never give. It’s a shame he set the bar so high that he’ll never be able to accomplish everything he promised. But the people eat this kind of thing up. Sell them the world, their Americans after all, they deserve it!

So after John McCain had thrown in the towl, and Obama smugly accepted his position as president elect of the United States of America, and a combo breaker if anyones ever seen one. He proceeded to give his speech that night, which ended up brining quite a few people to tears, apparently. To me it sounded more like Storytime With Obama, repeat after me, yes we can. And that kind of mentality scares me. When we put a political person on such a pedestal, in such a lofty position, that we chant idioms after and at them, it really becomes shades of history.

But I make few assumptions at present, and time will tell where the people let themselves be led. All I’m saying is there is a reason that the sales of guns has spiked very recently. And don’t get me wrong, I would be just as critical about anyone who would take office, because that person, no matter what they’ve said in the past, always always has the chance to abuse the power they have been entrusted with. This is the peoples’ charge to keep. To make sure the elected do as they’re told by us, the people who put them there in the first place. Seemes simple enough to me, but it’s another story when you have no insurance, and they’re the one’s holding the guns.

Sorry if you were hoping for a long winded diatribe about PETA. Now is not the time, on this 2008 presidential election eve.

At this time four years ago, it was 2004 and the year was coming to a close, as was another term for our current president, and I was 17. As fate would have it, I would miss out on being able to vote in that election by less than two months. So while I couldn’t vote, I certainly could register for selective service.

But I’m fairly cynical about politics, government, voting, etc. I never bought into the whole you have no right to complain if you didn’t vote nonsense. What, no right to complain? Excuse me? I’m absolutely sure our Bill of Rights grants me that freedom, to complain until I’m blue in the face. Anyone living in this country has the right to complain all they want (Amendment I), the same way they have the right to vote (Amendment XV, XIX, XXIV, & XXVI), and to get drafted (Amendment XIV: Section 4). Besides, that would mean that if the guy I wanted to win didn’t, I have no right to complain about anything the winner does. And the same would go for anyone else in this country, no complaining, remain complacent, watch tv, we’ll protect you if you just give us your rights. Read the rest of this entry »

To build a prosperous future, we must trust people with their own money and empower them to grow our economy. As we meet tonight, our economy is undergoing a period of uncertainty. America has added jobs for a record 52 straight months, but jobs are now growing at a slower pace. Wages are up, but so are prices for food and gas. Exports are rising, but the housing market has declined. At kitchen tables across our country, there is a concern about our economic future.

In the long run, Americans can be confident about our economic growth. But in the short run, we can all see that that growth is slowing. So last week, my administration reached agreement with Speaker Pelosi and Republican Leader Boehner on a robust growth package that includes tax relief for individuals and families and incentives for business investment. The temptation will be to load up the bill. That would delay it or derail it, and neither option is acceptable. This is a good agreement that will keep our economy growing and our people working. And this Congress must pass it as soon as possible.

-George W. Bush, State of the Union address, January 28, 2008

Thank you President Bush, for your words of encouragement. But I am not one for long winded political diatribes, and I hope I don’t turn this into one. Therefor I’ll try and keep this as neutral as possible, I like to let you, the reader, decide what your own persuasion is of current events. The following, however, is what I mean to say.

(photo © http://www.whitehouse.gov)

Why is this man smiling? Well, not only does he have one of the most powerful nations in the world at his beck and call, but his future is secure like Dick Cheney’s secret underground bunker. It’s enough to make any man smile. The only thing he has to worry about is being assassinated, though since it hasn’t happened yet, prospects are grim (hi FBI). But as George Bush jokes about his and our economy in his State of the Union address, nine months later we are on the heels on The Great Depression v2.0. Guess we should have stashed our economic stimulus checks under out mattress eh Georgy?

But the grinning man seen above doesn’t have to worry about any of this, really. So when our market crashes, he won’t be left wondering where his life savings went, or where his next meal would come from. This sort of language might seem a tad foriegn to us, we always hear it but it’s always on the other side of the world where we don’t have to worry about it. But the almighty collector has come knockin’, and he’s come to make us pay for years of frivolous spending. So as I type this, and our money turns to ashes before our eyes, the very real prospect of having to face questions like “where is my next meal going to come from?”, unsettles, nay frightens me.

I hate to be a doomsayer, but only having lived about 1/4 of my life, I can’t shake the feeling that I will live through some sort of catastrophic failure of this economy or the world economy. Well we can only inflate the value of our money for so long, right? I don’t know about you, but I’m withdrawing my life savings just so I can make some amazing paper mâché out of it!

*Since 2005, and continuing on today, the Union has been rather quickly redefined as to include Canada and Mexico.